Category: Fictionary

A dictionary of terms that should exist.

  • preramble

    preramble (pree-ram-buhl, pree-ram-), noun. an aimless, lengthy, and digressive introduction or introductory statement, commonly found at the beginning of a recipe on a recipe blog.

  • Schadenfreudian

    schadenfreudian (shahd-n-froi-dee-uhn), adj. of, or relating to, the pleasure derived from others’ misfortunes, especially those revealing subconscious or otherwise hidden sexual desires or practices. Ex.: I felt a schadenfreudian delight at Jerry Fallwell, Jr.’s resignation from Liberty University.

  • stimied

    stimied (stahy-meed), v., past part. prevented from achieving one’s goal or or purpose due to constraints in the time available for the necessary tasks. Ex.: The end of every semester.

  • cornycopia

    cornycopia (kawr-nee-koh-pee-uh), n. an inexhaustible, if exhausting, supply of old-fashioned, worn-out, and groan-inducing puns, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, bad jokes, etc., most often perpetrated by fathers at Thanksgiving dinners across America.

  • hypocracy

    hypocracy (hi-pok-ruh-see), n. a system of government in which power is vested in officials who feign virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, integrity, etc.; rule by hypocrites. Ex.: “Sen. Mitch McConnell: Will Dems work with us, or simply put partisan politics ahead of the country?”

  • decemble

    decemble (dih-sem-buhl), v. to disguise or conceal commercial motives behind a false or misleading appearance of Christmas cheer. Ex: Stores that erect Christmas displays the day after Halloween.

  • witch fulfillment

    witch fulfillment (wich foo l-fil-muh nt), n. the symbolic gratification of the desire to believe in magic, experienced through an exercise of the imagination (as in books, cosplay, neurotic symptoms, religion, etc.). Ex.: The “Harry Potter effect.”

  • sufferage

    sufferage (suhf-er-ij), n. the condition of one whose right to vote has sustained a setback, decline in effectiveness, or even loss, due to suppression, intimidation, or imposed disadvantage.  Ex.: Dodge City, Kansas:  “For this November’s election, local officials have moved [the only polling site for 27,000 residents] outside the city limits to a facility more than a mile from the nearest bus stop, citing road construction that blocked the previous site.”The Wichita Eagle

  • karma splice

    karma splice (kahr-muh splahys), n. Education, informal. 1. a teacher’s suspicion that she must have done something very bad in a previous life to deserve the grammatically incoherent essays turned in by her students. 2. a student’s suspicion that a teacher’s obsession with grammar indicates that the teacher must have been an authoritarian despot in a previous life.

  • manplain

    manplain (man-pleyn), v. Informal. (of a man) to express dissatisfaction, annoyance, or resentment at the perceived injustice against, or victimhood of, men. Ex.: “It’s a very scary time for young men in America”; “If it could happen to him, it could happen to any man.”

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