I exist in a state of superposition, simultaneously retired and not-retired.
This is, apparently, a function of the delay between the last day I was contracted to work, which was when the semester ended in May, and my actual retirement date, which is July 1. It’s a little disorienting. Am I or am I not retired?
For the past few weeks, the most common question people asked me was, “Are you feelin’ it yet?” The truth is that, at least so far, I’ve only “felt it” a couple times, and very briefly. One was as I packed the last of the books I intended to take home from my office; the other was just a few moments before I actually left the building for good, exchanging hugs and good-byes with the few colleagues who were still around.
The second most common question I was asked was, “What’s the first thing you’re going to do?” My original response: “I haven’t thought about it yet.” Not a satisfying answer — I’m sure they wanted me to say something like “Maldives!” — but it was true, as I was putting all my energy into resisting senioritis.
Later, I started saying that I would begin my retirement by turning off my alarm clock and setting up my hammock. A little cleverer, and also true, but that really is no different than the coda to any semester: I’ve always turned off the alarm clock and set up the hammock — and spent a few days catching up on all the housework that piled up while I was focusing on the semester’s finish line.
Not really a whiff of retirement in any of that.
Given that I haven’t taught summers for a long time, I’m not sure when I’m actually going to feel a difference. But perhaps it will be when I internalize the fact that I don’t have to spend a couple hours each day of my summer vacation working through the long list of changes I want to make for my next semester’s classes.
One thing that has changed, though: for many years, I’ve rarely dreamt about teaching — until these past three nights, when it was pretty much all I dreamt about. Last night, I was chasing (literally: down hallways, across parking lots, up an elevator shaft) students who’d used A.I. to create plausible but fictional Works Cited pages. (Yes, this last semester, I had more than one real-life paper peppered with made-up sources. Apparently my psyche feels the need to process this….)
Re: the meme at the top of this post: Schrödinger’s lolcat originally appeared on icanhascheezburger.com (according to Know Your Meme), but it doesn’t seem to be there any more.
Congratulations. It’s an entirely different way of living – and yes, it’s not really noticeable really until the next August when you haven’t had to devote one minute of your energy or thought to teaching and all that entails. Like you, the first thing I did was no more alarms. I used to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to an Irish song by The Eders, called “Common Man.” Listen if you fancy. Anyway, I find with time, I have managed to fill my days, but now with anything I would like to do, explore, or learn. I understand now why… Read more »