alteruism (awl-ter-oo-iz-uh m), n. the principle or practice of unselfish concern for or devotion to changing others for their own good.

angostic (ang-gos-tik), n. a person who holds that the existence of Dog is unknown and unknowable; broadly, one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of Dog or a dog.

angstrovert (ahngkst-ruh-vurt, angst-, -roh-), n. an individual whose attention and interests are directed wholly or predominantly toward an unfocused feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically about the human condition or the state of the world in general.

antecdote (an-tik-doht), n. a short and often amusing account of an incident or event that serves to prevent or counteract the effects of an unraveling reality. Ex.: The press conference at Four Seasons Landscaping became a go-to antecdote to ease the endless drum of election denialism.

anthropomoralism (an-thruh-puh–mawr–uh-liz-uh m, mor-), n. the attribution of human moral principles to the behavior of a non-human entity, often as a lesson suggesting that humans should follow the example of that entity. Ex.: “Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!”

bother-in-law (bah–th er-in-law), n. an annoying, irksome, irritating, or troublesome member of one’s spouse’s family.

censura (sen-zhoor-uh), n. [pl. censurae (sen-zhoor-ee)] Prosody. a disapproving pause, usually near the middle of a verse, marked in scansion by a sad-face emoticon; any disapproving or judgmental pause.

clausetrophobia (klawz-truh–foh-bee-uh), n. an extreme or irrational fear of sentence fragments.

cornycopia (kawr-nee-koh-pee-uh), n. an inexhaustible, if exhausting, supply of old-fashioned, worn-out, and groan-inducing puns, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, bad jokes, etc., most often perpetrated by fathers at Thanksgiving dinners across America.

de-facto (dee-fak-toh), adj. Politics. with the facts removed; presented as if true, especially when contrary to obvious evidence . Ex.: the de-facto size of the inauguration crowd.

decemble (dih-sem-buhl), v. to disguise or conceal commercial motives behind a false or misleading appearance of Christmas cheer. Ex: Stores that erect Christmas displays the day after Halloween.

derp-seated (durp–see-tid), adj. firmly implanted or established in foolishness or stupidity. Ex.: a derp-seated belief in trickle-down economics.

disingenious (dis-in-jeen-yuh s), adj. 1. of a person. having or showing an unusual aptitude for dishonesty or insincerity; skilled at inventing new ways to deceive or mislead. 2. of things or ideas. characterized by original or inventive deception or insincerity. Ex.: Russian troll farms developed disingenious tactics to sow discord among American voters.

escape goat (ih-skeyp goht), n. a goat that slipped into the wilderness before the sins of the people could be laid upon it.

followership (fol-oh-er-ship), n. a group’s shared identity, created by subscription to a leader’s teaching, guidance, example, or social media account(s).

hypocracy (hi-pok-ruh-see), n. a system of government in which power is vested in officials who feign virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, integrity, etc.; rule by hypocrites. Ex.: “Sen. Mitch McConnell: Will Dems work with us, or simply put partisan politics ahead of the country?”

hypostate (hip-pos-teyt, -tit), n. one who acts in contradiction to one’s sanctimoniously established religious or political principles to such a degree that one has, in effect, forsaken one’s religion, cause, party, etc.

intention span (in-ten-shuh n span), n. the length of time for which an individual or group is able to maintain motivation to do a specified thing or act in a specified manner, often inversely related to outrage levels generated from news reports or social media.

internity (in-tur-ni-tee), n. 1. the infinite, endless, or seemingly endless state or condition of working in an organization for little or no pay, in order to gain work experience or satisfy requirements of qualification in an occupation or profession with few or no available jobs. 2. Medicine. the timeless state into which the medical student passes upon graduation from medical school.

karma splice (kahr-muh splahys), n. Education, informal. 1. a teacher’s suspicion that she must have done something very bad in a previous life to deserve the grammatically incoherent essays turned in by her students. 2. a student’s suspicion that a teacher’s obsession with grammar indicates that the teacher must have been an authoritarian despot in a previous life.

klimtomania (klimt-tuh–mey-nee-uh, –meyn-yuh), n. Psychology. an impulse control disorder characterized by a persistent failure to resist buying coffee-table books that feature the work of Austrian symbolist painter Gustav Klimt (1862-1918); broadly, the irresistible impulse to buy coffee-table art books, especially when one does not own a coffee table.

manplain (man-pleyn), v. Informal. (of a man) to express dissatisfaction, annoyance, or resentment at the perceived injustice against, or victimhood of, men. Ex.: “It’s a very scary time for young men in America”; “If it could happen to him, it could happen to any man.”

misdenunciation (mis-dih-nuhn-see-ey-shuh n ), n. the act or habit of using a word incorrectly for false public censure or condemnation. Ex.: the misdenunciation of all unfavorable news as “fake.”

nettribution (net-truh–byoo-shuh n), n. the action of ascribing a quote on the Internet to Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, or Albert Einstein. Ex.: “The problem with quotes found on the Internet is that they are often not true.” —Abraham Lincoln

OED (oh-ee-dee), n. Psychiatry. Oxford English Disorder: a potentially disabling anxiety disorder in which a person mentally or verbally reacts to misspelled, mispronounced, or misused words. OED occurs in a spectrum from mild to severe and, if severe and left untreated, can destroy a person’s relationships at work, at school, or even at home.

politheism (pol-i-thee-iz-uh m), n. The politically expedient belief in God.

polyarmorous (pol-ee-ahr-muh-ruh s), adj. demonstrating a deep love for and commitment to the ownership of multiple firearms, often with a component of romantic or sexual desire. Ex. The United States of America houses the world’s most polyarmorous citizenry.

preramble (pree-ram-buhl, pree-ram-), noun. an aimless, lengthy, and digressive introduction or introductory statement, commonly found at the beginning of a recipe on a recipe blog.

press griefing (pres gree-fing), n. a meeting called by an organization, government, etc. to confuse, harass, provoke, frustrate, or aggravate journalists and, by extension, the public at large. Ex.: “Sarah Sanders presents the official White House policy: The media is the enemy of the people.”

psychopompous (sahy-koh-pom-puhs) [< Greek: ψυχοπομπώδης], adj. Mythology. characterized by an affectedly grand, solemn, pretentious, or self-important guidance into the afterlife. Ex.: That Charon is a psychopompous ass.

religioscopy (ri-lij-ee-os-kuh-pee), n. an internal examination of ardent religious feeling, investigating symptoms such as excessive or affected piety, superficiality, ostentation, or hypocrisy; requires sedation.

religual (ri-lij-oo uh l), adj. of or pertaining to sentiment or habit that is left over after belief in or worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially of a personal God or gods, has gone. Ex.: Though he now considers himself atheist, he still feels a religual disappointment in the politics of white evangelicals.

ruppository (ruh–poz-i-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee), n. A small, solid mass of fabricated evidence, facts, statistics, information, etc., inserted into the rectum, enabling one quickly to pull arguments out of one’s ass. Ex.:

schadenfreudian (shahd-n-froi-dee-uhn), adj. of, or relating to, the pleasure derived from others’ misfortunes, especially those revealing subconscious or otherwise hidden sexual desires or practices. Ex.: I felt a schadenfreudian delight at Jerry Fallwell, Jr.’s resignation from Liberty University.

sellacious (sel-ley-shuh s), adj. characterized by unnecessarily detailed descriptions of a celebrity’s potentially embarrassing sexual behavior, made available for purchase, either for publication or to avoid publication. Ex.: the National Enquirer’s safe full of sellacious stories.

snowfake (snoh-feyk), n. a person who displays a spurious and often hypocritical sense of outrage over comments that challenge his or her sense of entitlement.

stimied (stahy-meed), v., past part. prevented from achieving one’s goal or or purpose due to constraints in the time available for the necessary tasks. Ex.: The end of every semester.

Stürmisch und Drang (shtoo rm-ish oont drahng) [< German: Literally, Stormy and urge, though conventionally translated as Stormy and stress], n. 1. a style or movement of American cinema of the late 20th and early 21st centuries, characterized by works containing arousing action and bad acting that often deal with the individual’s rejection of social mores. 2. confusion; tumult; turmoil; upheaval. Ex.: A presidency characterized by Stürmisch und Drang.

sufferage (suhf-er-ij), n. the condition of one whose right to vote has sustained a setback, decline in effectiveness, or even loss, due to suppression, intimidation, or imposed disadvantage.  Ex.: Dodge City, Kansas:  “For this November’s election, local officials have moved [the only polling site for 27,000 residents] outside the city limits to a facility more than a mile from the nearest bus stop, citing road construction that blocked the previous site.” —The Wichita Eagle

tone-def (tohn-def), adj. of or demonstrating a highly refined inability to recognize the possible cause for offense of, or concern about, an issue or situation; designating or of a type of explanation, statement, etc. that is very clearly insensitive or out of touch. Ex.: Facebook’s latest tone-def apology.

unstruction (uhn-struhk-shuh n), n. the act, practice, or profession of imparting information that is confusing, bewildering, or perplexing. Ex.: Any explanation of quantum physics.

vitriotic (vi-tree-ot-ik), adj. feeling or inspired by devotion to and support for one’s country, expressed through severely caustic or hateful invective against foreigners or political opponents . Ex.: https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump.

wish hunt (wish-huhnt), n. a strong desire to dismiss reasonable inquiries into alleged disloyalty, dishonesty, subversive political activity, etc. as politically motivated and unjustified campaigns, based on slight, doubtful, or irrelevant evidence, against honestly held, unpopular opinions. Ex.: Trump’s and his supporters’ dismissal of the Mueller investigation.

witch fulfillment (wich foo l-fil-muh nt), n. the symbolic gratification of the desire to believe in magic, experienced through an exercise of the imagination (as in books, cosplay, neurotic symptoms, religion, etc.). Ex.: The “Harry Potter effect.”